My Generation… Hmmm… I dunno…

Apparently, I'm part of the Eco-Boom generation.

I caught the last few minutes of a "60 Minutes" presentation. It was interesting, but it was largely stuff I already knew: most of the kids in our generation, the middle class ones, especially, have been coddled, pampered and surrounded by technology. We lack forward vision, we want everything now, we think anything without immediate output is boring, we are over-achievers, we are suckers for conformity, at least when it comes to our friends, and we spend more time in front of the computer than in front of the television.

Other than having soccer-practice, I'm pretty typical. It makes me sad. Though, I admit that the constant encouragement (from the time I entered kindergarten) to be a "team player" has always tasted a little too sour, and I do like the idea of personal glory and achievement. I am, however, appropriately jaded and over-pressured, and have responded by digging my heels in and (largely) ignoring encouragement.

Go me! I am a dysfunctional member of my particularly frightening generation. Perhaps one could say that that makes me an even more typical: I am raised to think that everything is a disease (i.e. depression, low self-esteem) and all that stuff that people of older generations (including members of the Baby Boom and their parents) would declare utter bullshit.

I had a conversation with an older gentlemen who sits in on the Vocal Jazz workshop and plays baritone sax in the Jazz ensemble. I can't think of anything to call him except for Angelo; nicknames are difficult. Whatever. He lost his father with he was 21, his mother when he was 25, so we discussed some of the problems associated with grief. Something I wouldn't have expected from him, he said it was okay for me to be defunct with depression. (Yeah, yeah, I know, everyone says it's okay. I just didn't expect to hear it from him.) I feel guilty for being defunct, but that's me and my neurotic need to be strong and cool and detached and not embarrass myself with undue emotion. (Hey, I said it was neurotic, didn't I?)

He, like my mom, recommended meditation. But that's a side issue.

What he and I talked about that connected to this generational thing… I was saying how I felt like I was bad at saxophone, because I never practice and I feel like I don't deserve to be considered any good at it. But what it comes down to, as he put it, is if you aren't working at it, you're not going to produce anything. So work at it! He's going to give me some Dexter Gordon recordings to listen to. (Tenor sax player, much with the slow and soulful, which is my preferred style of soloing when I do so.)

Angelo is a really interesting guy, I'll say that. And after talking to him, I felt better.

Gods, it's good to be back with my jazz people again, you have no idea.

[Like the icon? Made it myself. ^_^]